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UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 17/18 REVIEW: MATCHDAY 1


 The glitterati club league kicked off proceedings this week, and yeah with its fair share of what you'd expect. Defending champions Los Blancos laid aside a surprisingly decent APOEL Nicosia, Buffon's finally added to Messi's list, Jurgen still grinning, and oh Chelsea scored six past a sorry Qarabag FK. Talk about a welcoming for the minnows from Azerbaijan. Pep Guardiola? Well, his side hit Feyenoord for three (John Stones scored two of the goals). Harry Kane's loving September, he had two netting strikes and Spurs have won at Wembley. This is not a drill! A certain Frenchman wasn't invited to the party: we know who.

    Cup holders Real Madrid put three past Cyprus' APOEL Nicosia, with record goal scorer Cristiano Ronaldo at the double for Zizou, and ticking time-bomb defender Sergio Ramos acrobatically making it three. The Portuguese could have had a had-trick late on, only to be flagged off correctly for offside by the linesman. A first home win in the season it turned out to be, and Gareth Bale played pretty well; setting up two of the goals. Cris' level with arch-rival Leo Messi, Harry Kane, and (we can't believe it) John Stones who turned on the style in Holland. That's 72 games in which they've consecutively hit the back of the net. Harry by the way scored past Group H opponents Borussia Dortmund at Wembley. Poch has finally won his money back.

   The "chasing pack" turned up too alright. On Tuesday, Football Club Barcelona made it a night to forget for Italian Spartans Juventus at the Camp Nou. Bleacher Report's Sam Tighe said the little man ran "rings round them". Gigi Buffon left frozen for both his goals. Fellow Group D counterparts Olympiacos and Sporting Clube De Portugal battled in Greece in what was a pretty interesting game. The Portuguese visitors ran out 3-2 winners. How about money boys PSG? Blitzing frontline NMC all found the back of the net, as Paris-Saint Germain hit Celtic for 5 in Scotland. Edinson Cavani had two, the second a beauty. A horror-outing for still-struck Brendan Rodgers and Celtic. Group B's action also featured Carlo's Bayern make RSC Anderlecht seem something light with goals from centre-forward supreme Rob Lewandowski, elegant midfielder Thiago Alcantara and Joshua Kimmich, We await NMC v Bayern soon. Toni Conte still is buzzing by the way. His London side ran riot on a poor Qarabag side. Summer signings Tiemoue Bakayoko and Zappacosta found the scoresheet, the latter's some humdinger. Michy Bathshuayi, Pedro Rodriguez, Willian, and Cesar Azpilicueta all made it that commanding scoreline. They top Group C, as Atletico De Madrid and Roma drew a blank at Stadio Olimpico. Hey, Jose can't be left out of the fun. His side played the "Playstation way" with goals from Marouane Fellaini, and big buy Romelu Lukaku. Game ended 3-0. Fellaini came in for Paul Pogba who was helped off the pitch due to injury. Could they go all the way? Fergie having a bet with renown-punter Sam Allardyce on that one you feel. The other Group A game saw CSKA Moscow stun Benfica 2-1 at the Jose Alvelade Stadium in Portugal. Vlad Putin still in high spirits as we speak.
  
   Last night turned out to be full of goals. Group E saw Liverpool share the spoils with Sevilla at the Kop. Joaquin Correa applying the dagger late into proceedings. Cries of Vamòs Mi Sevilla rang round the Kop, much to Klopp's piss, and he is still grinning. Phil Coutinho sent late on could do nothing really. Maribor and Spartak Moscow ended their game 1-1 to round up the group's action.
Group F saw Pep's kids Manchester City won 3-0 away to Feyenoord, with goals from Kun Aguero and 2 from central defender John Stones, whilst Shakthar Donetsk pressed home their home advantage to get past Dries Mertens' Napoli 2-1. Iker Casillas couldn't keep Turk side Besiktas who ran out 3-1 winners away to Porto. Towering midfielder Andre Talisca opened the scoring, with Anfield legend Ryan Babel sealing the points. Kepler Pepe getting one over his former clubmate. Monaco drew at RB Leipzig in Germany 1-1 to end Group G's proceedings. Radamel Falcao still ruing missed chances.

  Hey, it was some midweek yeah? Commanding displays from the favourites, with a fair share of upsets too. Cris hit two on his return, Lionel finally has the Italians in his pocket, and we saw that money actually buys happiness. You'll have to ask the QSI owner about that. The Hollywood cup competition is back alright, with its bang. Oh, Arsene finally sees UEFA legally tonight.

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