The Footee Mag

Predictions for the day: 1.  Man Utd to get past Tottenham. Lukaku looks the man. 2.     Bournemouth upset on the cards v Chelsea . A brave one to go against Chelsea. 3.     Man City easily past West Brom. 4.    AC Milan to get past Juventus. Yeah, you heard me right. 5.     Messi magic not the case at Athletic Bilbao. Game looks tough either way. 6.    Villarreal to fall at Atlèti. Griezzy show. 7.    Hannover 96 beats Dortmund. 8.    Apparently, Leipzig succumbs to Bayern Munich. No revenge for Timo Werner. 9.    Brighton beats Southampton. Glenn Murray again.

                  Gameweek 9’s here again, and we can’t wait. Wait, Harry has to. *cries in FPL*. Guess City will share the goals again this weekend.           Old Trafford the first venue of our games. The Theatre of dreams striving up to match Leo Di Caprio’s masterpiece. Tottenham visit Man United, and you bet it will be a cracker. Big game Lukaku itching for his name to be up in lights. Christian Eriksen, Dele Alli, and Son Heung-Min looking to take a scalp off the title contenders. Title contenders against the Title pretenders.         The 3pm games then come quickly. Seemingly rejuvenated Mesut Özil welcomes Swansea City to the Emirates. Arsenal were superb last time out, with the trio (Alexis, Lacazette, and Özil) all scoring. Crystal Palace entertain West Ham, Klopp hosts his pal Dave Wagner and Huddersfield Town, Watford receive Stoke, Pep travels to West Brom. The 5:30 game has Che...

            Manchester United have one with Tottenham Hotspur. José Mourinho looking to leapfrog Pep Guardiola as City play away after the Red half of Mancunia. Rockin’ Englishman strangling thé club doctor. f. Ed Woodward breathes a huge sigh of relief.      Huddersfield Town handed an L to Fergie’s kids last time out. According to José, it was rightly deserved: Man United were embarrassing and shocking defensively. Laurent Delpoitre’s finish a testament to that. Vic Lindelof still somewhere in Mou’s 🚀, ready to be blasted back to Sweden. He’s said his men would bounce back, and no better time to turn the corner than on a sunny afternoon in Old Trafford. They’ll have to get past an imperious Hugo Lloris, whose saves recently have been utterly brilliant. Just ask Phil Coutinho and Karim Benzema. Lukaku, your move to make . The Belgian passive the last time United met worthy opposition.       Spurs? They’re still buzzing a...

    It's him again! It's always him! Cristiano Ronaldo wins the FIFA Best Player of the Year award. Yes Lionel, he is numero uno.        The Real Madrid superstar had another tremendous year, with the UEFA and La Liga triumphs added to the 50+ goals he hit for club and country. You bet he won't win it again, Ney's third place finish enough motivation . This award ties Fergie's fave student with Lionel Messi.         You really think the alien would lay down? Nah, this season's going to be one heck of a ride, and oh there's the World Cup with Putin. Messi, here's your chance, again. 

      " Every magic trick consists of three acts: the first act is called the pledge. The magician shows you something ordinary, when of course: it probably isn't. The second act is called the turn. The magician makes this ordinary something do: something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret, which you won't find: and that's why there's the third act, called the prestige. This is the part with the twists and turns, and when games hang in the balance. Then you see something amazing you've never seen before."                                                        -Sky Sports Montage for El Clasico 2011/2012. And that's what these humans are, magicians 🎩.    We are not worthy of them. (c)www.insolite-foot.fr      FIFA's THE BEST Men's award will be pr...

          The Barclays Premier League returned this past weekend, and we're all loving it. Are you, José ?      Mancunian entertainers hit Burnley for three, with the fit-again Kun Agüero equalling the all-time scoring record for Manchester City. Nic Otamendi and Leroy Sane also got on the scoresheet. Burnley did well to let in only three. Top of the tree, and there's nothing Felix Mou can do about it!      Mou? Well he's flung the boot at Herrera (and Lindelof afar). Manchester United were shambolic and careless in defending. Marcus Rashford's late goal made it a grand-stand finish. Jorgensen's block right at the end made Aaron Mooy's and Laurent Delpoitre's strikes vital. Massive massive result for Huddersfield as they haven't won in five. Huddersfield and United cult hero Denis Law having mixed feelings. David Moyes rolling as we speak. Next for Mourinho: Harry Kane.     Speaking of the Ballon D'Or nominee, the L...

Guess you better send this ASAP to the punter. Big Sam would even do the same. 1.  Chelsea v Watford. My money is on Chelsea. They're in a bad patch yeah, but I feel they'll be too much for Watford. Forget Arsène's, I mean we all know him. Chelsea to win, Morata and Hazard to score. 2 . Everton v Arsenal. Game looks tight alright. Everton (and Wayne) will go all out. Arsenal too have some tricks up their sleeve. Will end in a draw. Olivier Giroud with a goal. 3 . Barcelona v Malaga: Don't even try and stake on Malaga. Messi magic. 4.  Valencia v Sevilla. The visitors have this one. Bounce back from UEFA disaster for Sevilla. 5.Eintracht Frankfurt v Dortmund. Dortmund to win this one. Aubameyang brace. 6. Hamburger SV v Bayern. An upset here. 7. Napoli v Inter Milan. Don't bet on Inter. Lorenzo Insigne pivotal. 8. Torino v Roma. Edin Dzeko to the rescue again. Roma to win. 9.  Monaco v Caen. Easy Monaco. 10. Marseille v Paris. Marseille have this...

              More superhuman efforts? Liga Santander action up and running this weekend, and we can't wait. After all, it is the greatest league in the world.         First game of the weekend at lunchtime features Getafe visiting Levante. The latter still reeling from that Cristiano winner late on. Has the makings of a really feisty encounter. Real Betis entertain Depor Alaves at the Villamarin some hours later. Valencia in a box office game with Quique Setien's side last Sunday. Speaking of Valencia, they're in the heavyweight clash against Sevilla. Sergio Rico still having Russian nightmares after Wednesday's exploits. That gives Simone Zaza some more encouragement. The Italian with more than five this term. Lionel Messi welcomes Malaga come the night skies in Catalunya. Carlos Kanemi looking to frustrate the Argentine again.      Tomorrow's action features Villarreal hosting Las Palmas, Antoine Griezzy ...

         The Barclays Premier League returned last night, with Brighton edging  Slav Bilic closer to the sack. 3-0 to Chris Houghton's visitors, Glenn Murray (former Hammers man) grabbed a double. You ready for the weekend?         First off, we're at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea welcome Watford for what promises to be a really exciting one. Contrasting fortunes for both sides, with the hosts' the more damaging. Will Zaha's Silhouette still flashing in Toni Comte's mind. Brazilian buy Richarlison relishing the prospect of facing the defending champs in their own backyard. Surely isn't another one here?        Next come the Goal Rush games (16:00 GMT). Mancunian entertainers City receive Sean Dyche's Burnley. Dyche trying to find a way to convince his lads they won't get thwacked. Only Everton have gone there, and left unscathed. Swansea City take on Leicester at the Liberty Stadium, Lukaku's at Huddersfield, Crystal...

      Football Club Barcelona host Greek champs Olympiacos at the Camp Noù. Thor sending his natives the hammer as they'll need every help available to conquer the alien. A win for the Catalans puts them one more away from the knockout rounds. Sporting entertain Juventus at the Old Lady. Paulo Dybala looking for his first in this year's competition. Jorge Jesus' players fell short to Barca in Portugal last time out. An upset just what the doctor ordered.     Chelsea's European fortunes could be colourful with victory at home to AS Roma. Batman's 93rd-minute nick at Atlèti stirring up the fighting spirit alright. The Round of 16 drawing ever closer for the Premier League Winners. Edin Dzeko and Radja Naingollan having other ideas. The other group encounter involves Qarabag FK entertaining Spanish heavyweights Atlètico De Madrid. Popular dancer Antoine Griezzy aiming for his second this term. A drubbing certainly Club President Enrique Cerezo's demands. ...

There will always be goals with Pep.        Midweek drama everywhere. Spurs brilliant, Cristiano still grinning (Pep isn't). Klopp? Seven the   feeling for the German. It's Enrique Berizzo's turn to pull his own hair out.      Record-Breaking Real Madrid were held by a very decent Tottenham Hotspur side. Mauricio Poch rubbing Arsène's nose in it. The visitors took the lead 29 minutes in when Raphaël Varane inadvertently turned Serge Aurier's peach of a cross past a helpless Keylor Navas. The holders huffed and puffed, With CR7 the most active. He was later rewarded as he dispatched his penalty two minutes to halftime. Second half in the same pattern, with Hugo Lloris' save to deny Karim Benzema from close range utterly magnificent. Zizou finding it hard to  Navas' to deny Rockin' Harry his 44th in 2017 up there too. Game ended 1-1, Poch's baptism turned out to be okay...🤷🏾‍. Apoel Nicosia and Borussia Dortmund also shared the spoils...

     Club football's standout competition set to light up our schemes this night, with some tasty ties on hand. Harry visits the Bernabeu, Pep welcomes the blitzing Napoli, and Iker Casillas' Porto's at Leipzig. Let's not forget the Melwood boyband play away at Maribor. Get your bookies ready.     Holders Real Madrid welcome Tottenham Hotspur to the capital. Cristiano who? Spurs manager Mauricio Pochettino has branded his talisman as the best player in the world mentally. Zizou has called him the most complete player. Harry Kane is into double figures already this season, and victory in Spain couldn't be more tempting. Apoel Nicosia welcome Borussia Dortmund. Two pointless sides meet in Cyprus. Not-so quick Emerick Aubameyang licking his lips at the sight of the minnows. Should be a stroll for the Germans. Or would it?     Mauro Sauri's goal-getting Italians come to the Etihad for a date with the supposed Fraudiola. The only side in Europe's top ...

            Talk about laying down a marker. Pep Guardiola's Manchester City hit Stoke for seven ( you heard me right). Goals, goals, goals. 25 goals already. How's that for being ruthless? Fernandinho's the pick of the bunch. Sheer power and accuracy of the strike. Butland clawing at fresh air. Game ended 7-2.           Mou's boys as you probably predicted, left their PlayStation pads back at Carrington. Clean sheet the paramount for Mourinho. Of course Jürgen's side dominated proceedings, with David De Gea's save quite astonishing. He stuck out a leg to keep Mo Salah. Dave actually saves . Lukaku spurning United's biggest chance after played his effort directly at Simon Mignolet. Two points behind Pep Guardiola.             Reports suggest the impossible happened somewhere in the capital. Famed lover Mauricio Poch saw his side win at Wembley. Christian ...

   Hey, it was some week yeah. Reports suggest Messi's the new superman. Literally carried his people to the promised land. Who's going to ne the hero this week? Hmm..... Romelu?     Happy One ? It seems so. José Mourinho looks like a man on the cloud, he's hardly ever had a reason to grin, bar that date with familiar face Mark Hughes. PlayStation certainly becoming a hobby given how his side have been playing. Romelu's been on some roll: six in seven for the Belgian. Of course Ronald Koeman's strangling that account officer. Red Mancunia rules, and it appears hardly anyone could stop them (save quiet neighbor Pep Guardiola). But you really feel Liverpool would give in so easy?       How about the hairstyle expert? His side welcome Stoke City to the Etihad. "Er, Butland... Kun's back!" Yeah right. The Argentine's back in training, looking to add to his impressive start to the campaign (also six). Favourite son Kevin De Bruyne's belter V...

    We're in the last round of qualifying matches for next year's Fifa World Cup in Russia, and it gets the more interesting as we await the end of the phase.      World-record buy having a bath in the Bolivian sunshine (c) dailymail.co.uk          First off, Samba boys Brazil who've already qualified shared the spoils with already-eliminated Bolivia in La Paz. Game turned out to be surprisingly entertaining given the fact both sides had nothing to play for really. Neymar saw three of his efforts kept away by the opposition defence, wihle the hosts thundered the crossbar late on in the first half. Quite unlikely this particular group of players would win emerge kings in Russia next summer.             Second-placed Uruguay failed to get all three points at San Cristobal away to Salomon Rondon's Venezuela. Edinson Cavani had a penalty shout late in the first half which was not heeded by the re...

    In a thrilling first for football fans across Africa, Guinness is announcing a major new partnership with legendary footballer, Thierry Henry; an international football icon of the highest calibre.   As part of its Made of Black programme, Guinness will be working with Henry to celebrate the unique passion of African fans and their Made of Black spirit. I guess this means we'll soon be seeing Leo Messi yeah? Wait, his side are still trying to get tickets to go play in Russia. Hmmm. The footballing Icon displaying the iconic beer . Henry is famous for his time at the English Premier League Club Arsenal, where he was part of a team that won two league titles and three FA Cups as well as leading his team to the 2006 UEFA Champions League Final in his role as captain. Named Professional Footballers’ Association Players’ Player of the Year twice, and the Football Writers’ Association Footballer of the Year three times, Thierry Henry enriched the football viewing...

     Football Club Barcelona travel to the New Wanda Metropolitano to face fellow Spanish giants Atletico De Madrid come the 14th of October. Reports suggest tickets aren't provided for the away fans per Marca.com . Cataluña's pride lead the pack, whilst Diego Simeone's band of warriors trail in fourth. As you'd expect, Lionel's running the show, and everyone's playing to his tune.         Normal services have resumed this term for Leo and his pals. 11 for the little man, with his side hitting 23 already in all competitions. In the last two years, the side top at October, eventually went on to be champions. Mind placing that bet now ?    Critics would tell you the fixtures they've had so far, have been relatively easy. Real Betis, Getafe (away), Eibar, Girona(away), and Las Palmas. They haven't dropped a single point in any of those matches. Only Napoli can boast about this in Europe's top 5 leagues. Neymar-less ? Certainly not...

   The Red-hot Blitzer from London (c)(premierleague.com)       Certainly he is. Tottenham Hotspur's very own hitman's on some red-hot form. He's into double figures for goals this season for club and country, and also is closing on Geordie great Alan Shearer's calendar-year record (36). Seven strikes away from the former Newcastle man. Hey Mr Thierry, you hear that?       One of Spurs' erstwhile youth team coaches Alex Inglethorpe said Kane looked quite clumsy and a bit cumbersome, when he first played for the club at the under-18 level. One thing which was hard to dissuade was the fact that he had some darn good technique, and also the burning desire to develop. And we're seeing the benefits now. I have a shrug of the shoulder each time I see my fantasy points thanks to him. He's got such as a power and accuracy about his strikes which you'll liken to Premier League legend Alan Shearer, according to cult hero Les Ferdinand. O...

  They won again, Mancunia's elite won again. That's six victories out of a possible seven for Pep and Jose. Blue half delivering a masterclass at Chelsea, while the Red half splatting the red pigment all over Roy Hodgson's sorry face. They've been rubberstamping their credentials all campaign, with barnstormer after barnstormer. Still grinning eh, Harry Kane?   Manchester City grabbed three points at the Bridge, thanks to Belgian whiz Kevin De Bruyne. It wasn't that they won, it's how they won. Sheer domination, How's that Toni? Chelsea got beat alright, but we've got to acknowledge the sheer ability of this team we're seeing. Possession stats showed Chelsea having their lowest (30%), since 2004. And the defending champions were at home. Stunned yet? The hosts offered little or nothing to ruffle Pep's hairdo. We'll see how far they can go this season. But hey, this is probably the most dominant I've seen Manchester City in quite a wh...